How To Be An LGBTQ Ally This June & All Year
Pride month is here! Throughout the month of June, LGBTQ identities and lifestyles are at the forefront with pride celebrations and events to commemorate the history of LGBTQ rights. Beyond the rainbows and parades, this month is about accepting people for who they are regardless of how they look, act, and who they love.
If you have someone in your life who is part of the LGBTQ community and you aren’t sure of the best ways to support them, we wanted to offer some tips so that everyone can enjoy a happy and safe Pride Month.
First, we think it is important to try understanding the experience of your LGBTQ loved one. For many in the LGBTQ community, their sexual orientation has not always been a cause for celebration. Many have faced prejudice, harassment, and shame. Many have been cast out of their homes and rejected by their communities. The LGBTQ community has fought for many years for the right to marry, transition safely, and validate their identities. To honor their resilience and sacrifices, it is important to be aware of their experience and to stand by the queer people in your life, not only during Pride Month but year-round. Dedicate this month to showing up in a big way for those in your life who are queer. Let’s stand by them when others may turn their backs and attempt to understand their struggles.
The first step to being a good ally is awareness. Simply knowing the correct terms or pop culture references isn’t enough to empower and protect the LGBTQ people in your life. Educating yourself about queer history and being a receptive listener when it comes to acknowledging your queer friend's and family member's perspectives can help alleviate some of the loneliness that may come with the process of coming out. Keep in mind that no matter how much you study, everyone is unique and so is their journey. The LGBTQ friend or family member you are seeking to support is the authority on their specific experience. Remaining open-minded, listening, and letting them lead is the biggest component of proactive allyship.
Learning about the privilege of being an ally can increase your understanding of the realities LGBTQ individuals face. Empathy for the mistreatment of queer people is not enough. Knowing your role in oppressive situations and using your innate advantages to help give your LGBTQ friends a better chance is equally as important. As a straight person, you will never have to experience some of the realities a queer person does. It’s important to acknowledge the relativity of your situation, even when that can be challenging. When you acknowledge your privilege you can show up in situations where your LGBTQ friend or family member may need extra support.
Another great step towards being a good ally is to advocate for the fair treatment of all LGBTQ individuals. Though it’s hard to challenge the opinions of your non-LGBTQ friends and family members, it’s important to imagine how your queer friends would feel if they heard what that person was saying. It is not enough to support them behind closed doors. Part of your job as an ally is to use your privilege to make the world a safer and more accepting place for LGBTQ people as a whole. Anti-LGBTQ jokes and comments are harmful and they should be treated the same as any other harassment.
You can help pave the way for LGBTQ individuals by attending rallies or outreach events and volunteering your time to organizations that serve queer communities. You can also endorse and support LGBTQ-owned businesses and media. This is a great way to experience the beauty of the LGBTQ community firsthand and can help you better understand and support your LGBTQ friends and family. There are many ways you can show your support and lift queer voices.
For queer people, building a sense of community can give them a vital sense of belonging and acceptance which can greatly improve their sense of self. If you know someone who has been abandoned by their family for their sexuality or gender expression, inviting them to your home for the holidays may mean the world to that person. If their friends won't attend pride events or gay clubs with them, consider being their plus one for safety and companionship. Sometimes the presence of one close accepting friend may be the point of comfort they need to blossom into their most authentic self.
The final and most self-centric way to be a good ally is to reflect on your own biases and rewire the way you think about sexuality. We live in a heteronormative society which means that we consider being straight to be the norm. This idea has been enforced for years by religion, media, and traditional views. In the modern day, we have come to realize that these barriers can negatively affect the LGBTQ population. Growing up queer and believing that you are somehow abnormal for not adhering to the status quo can contribute to feelings of shame and isolation and may slow the process of coming out. Studies conducted by Gallup in 2022 have shown 1 in 5 individuals self-identify as LGBTQ.
In knowing this, it’s important to consider how you approach new people. There is no way to know someone's sexuality or gender identity based on their physical appearance or behavior. This is why it is increasingly important to ask for people's pronouns, use gender-neutral language, and learn tactful and polite ways to address talking about LGBTQ individuals. Remember that it can be a sensitive subject as well as an incredibly private one for some individuals. Let them lead the conversation on the topic and address it with you when they feel comfortable doing so. No LGBTQ person owes you an explanation of what and who they are, so the best way to find out more is to gain their trust, prove yourself as a safe individual to confide in, and allow things to develop at a pace that is comfortable for both participants.
Regardless of who your loved ones choose to be with romantically, how they dress, or what pronouns they choose to use, they are still a person deserving of love and respect. It’s important to remember that fear and hatred can drive a wedge between us and our loved ones that cannot be mended. Respect for the autonomy of queer people and freedom from harassment is the bare minimum, and as with any issue of social justice, we can all seek out ways to do more.
The LGBTQ community is vibrant, powerful, tenacious, and unapologetic in its pursuit of self-expression, and these are traits we all should seek to emulate. During June, and year-round, finding appreciation for the differences that make each and every one of us unique and special is not only good for marginalized groups but for you as well. Love is always stronger than fear, and despite the hardships the LGBTQ community faces they continue to rise in the face of adversity. As we join in celebrating Pride Month, help others put aside their biases, continue to love and cherish your LGBTQ friends and family, and live proudly.